The Importance of Self Love and Self Acceptance

The Importance of Self Love and Self Acceptance

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Blog, What Is Self Love

Image Courtesy of:Unsplash
Photographer: De’Andre Bush
Anxiety is a disorder that affects approximately 40 million adults in the United States, so chances are you know someone who struggles with it. But did you know that self-love and self-acceptance are two of the best weapons against anxiety? In this article, learn more about how these two practices can significantly impact your day-to-day life!
What is Self Love and Self Acceptance?
Self-love is an essential part of conquering bad anxiety. When you love and accept yourself, you acknowledge that you are worthy of love and respect. This creates a foundation of self-confidence that can help you overcome any challenges that come your way.
When you love and accept yourself, you are comfortable with who you are. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have room for improvement; it just means that you are okay with who you are and where you are in the world.
One of the best ways to conquer anxiety is through the use of mindfulness because it allows you to focus on the present moment instead of dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about the future.
Loving and accepting yourself also means caring for yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This includes eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and doing things that make you happy. Nurturing your mind and body to support you during stress is essential. When you take care of yourself, facing whatever life throws your way is easier.
Struggling with anxiety is debilitating
If you struggle with anxiety, you know how difficult it can be to manage. It can feel like your mind is constantly racing, and you’re never really able to relax. This can lead to a lot of self-doubts and negative self-talk. It’s important to remember that anxiety is a normal part of life and everyone experiences it at some point. The key is to learn how to manage it in a healthy way.
Bad anxiety can be incredibly debilitating. It can make it hard to concentrate at work, enjoy time with friends and family, and get a good night’s sleep. When bad anxiety takes over, it can feel like there’s no way out.
However, one way to conquer bad anxiety is through self-love and self-acceptance.
When these two practices are combined, they create a powerful tool for conquering bad anxiety. Why? Because when you love and accept yourself, you gain the strength to face your fears head-on. You become more resilient in the face of adversity. And you realize that your worthiness is not contingent on meeting other people’s standards or expectations – it lies within you.
So if you’re struggling with bad anxiety, start by practicing self-love and self-acceptance. It may not be easy initially, but it’s an essential step to recovery.
The Absence of Self-Love and Acceptance Makes you Vulnerable to Criticism
Low self-esteem leads to social anxiety and constant negative self-talk that can accompany it. “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never be able to do that,” “Everyone is judging me, and they’re probably right” — these are just a few of the many thoughts that can race through our minds daily.
What we may not realize, however, is that this negative self-talk is making our anxiety worse. When we don’t love and accept ourselves, we become more vulnerable to criticism from others and our minds. We start to believe the negative things we’re telling ourselves, and it becomes harder and harder to see our worth.
You become more vulnerable to criticism when you don’t love or accept yourself. Why? Because you’re putting yourself in a position where you’re not good enough, constantly seeking approval from others, and looking externally for validation. This neediness makes you an easy target for criticism.
If you learn to love and accept yourself, you’ll be much less likely to care about what others think of you. You’ll be confident in your skin and won’t need anyone else’s approval. This inner confidence will make you immune to criticism.
Lack of Self-Love and Anxiety Events
When we don’t love and accept ourselves, we constantly try to prove our worth to others. This need for validation leads to anxiety-inducing events like asking someone out on a date, going to a job interview, or speaking in front of a group. We’re so worried about being rejected or not measuring up that we can’t enjoy the experience. It’s as if we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when it does, it feels like confirmation that we’re not good enough.
The only way to conquer this type of anxiety is through self-love and acceptance. We no longer need anyone else’s approval when we love and accept ourselves unconditionally. We know we are worthy just as we are and don’t have anything to prove. This inner confidence allows us to relax and enjoy life, even when things don’t go perfectly according to plan.
Steps to Overcome Anxiety with Self-Love and Acceptance
1. Know your triggers: The first step to loving yourself is understanding what causes your anxiety. Once you know your triggers, you can begin to manage them.
2. Identify your negative thoughts: When feeling anxious, take a step back and identify the negative thoughts driving your feelings.
3. Reframe your thinking: Once you’ve identified your negative thoughts, try to reframe them in a more positive light. For example, if you’re thinking, “I’m not good enough,” try telling yourself, “I’m doing my best.”
4. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when you’re feeling anxious. Cut yourself some slack, and remember that everyone has moments of anxiety.
5. Seek professional help: If your anxiety is severe or impacting your quality of life, seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.
6. Take care of your physical health: Physical and mental health are closely linked. Be sure to take care of your body by eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
7. Connect with others: Social support is crucial when trying to manage anxiety. Connect with loved ones, join a support group, or volunteer in your community.
8. Live in the present: One of the best ways to reduce anxiety is to focus on the present moment—practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation or yoga.
9. Find your purpose: Having a sense of purpose in life can help reduce anxiety. Spend time thinking about what brings you meaning and fulfillment.
10. Accept yourself: Anxiety is a part of who you are, and that’s okay. Learning to accept yourself, flaws, and all are important in loving yourself.
Final Words
When it comes to conquering bad anxiety, self-love is the only way. Why? Because when you love and appreciate yourself, you create a force field of positivity and good vibes that keep negative thoughts and feelings at bay.
Also, when you have strong self-love, you naturally take better care of yourself in all areas of life – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. This creates a virtuous circle of wellness that further reduces stress and anxiety.
So if you’re serious about conquering your anxiety once and for all, commit to making self-love a top priority. It’s the best (and only) way to create lasting change.
At womansuperpowers.com, we give our clients the tools to create a Teflon coating which shields them from internalizing criticism and turning it into an anxiety event. Contact us today to learn how to create yours!
#womansuperpowers #chooseyourself #loveyourself https://womansuperpowers.com
What Stress Does To The Body

What Stress Does To The Body

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Anxiety, Blog

Photo by Liza Summer
 
In today’s current climate of go, go, go and achieve all the time, stress is a significant part of everyday life and the impact it has on the body is profound. Over 63% of Canadians feel that their stress levels have either remained the same or increased in the last five years. Stress is increasingly becoming a national health crisis, so it is more important than ever to learn how it can affect your body.
Nervous System
Your nervous system is responsible for coordinating your body’s reactions whenever you find yourself in a “fight or flight” situation. An organ in the brain called the Hypothalamus signals the adrenal gland to release two stress hormones: cortisol and adrenaline into the bloodstream. These hormones carry out two functions:
  1. Adrenaline significantly increases your heartbeat and uses the increased pressure to send blood to the areas of the body that will need it the most. For example your extremities such as your arms and legs to prepare them to run away and take you away from the perceived danger.
  2. Cortisol increases sugar levels in the bloodstream and heightens your brain’s use of glucose, and increases the availability of substances that repair tissues.
Once you have removed yourself from the stressful situation, your hypothalamus stops releasing your stress hormones, and your body returns to normal functioning. Sustained stress can cause the excessive release of these hormones which ultimately has an adverse impact on your central nervous system which can lead to psychological problems such as eating disorders, social isolation, and drug abuse.
Cardiovascular System
During your fight or flight response, you also breathe faster so your body can receive oxygen-rich blood as quickly as possible. As mentioned above, your blood pressure tends to increase under stress. Being confronted by stress over a long period of time will increase your risk of suffering from a stroke or a heart attack, as your heart is not designed to work hard for extended periods of time.
Muscular System
You may have noticed that some part(s) of your body tense up whenever you are stressed or anxious. These muscles stay tensed throughout your ‘fight or flight’ response and will only stop once you fully relax.
People with chronic stress tend to suffer from more body aches, shoulder and back pain, and frequent headaches because their muscles remain tense and strained. If such issues are not addressed, an addiction to pain medications may eventually occur.
Reproductive System
When stressed, the dysregulation in the body can result in consequences for your sexual and reproductive health. You may notice your sex drive slowly declining. In women, sustained stress can result in interruptions in the menstrual cycle and lead to more painful periods or, in severe cases, miscarriages.
On the other hand, in men, stress can increase testosterone, but only temporarily. Over time, testosterone levels decrease, followed by a decrease in sperm production. Stress also plays a role in causing erectile dysfunction in males and is known to cause infections in the testes and prostate.
Digestive System
Stress has a well-documented impact on the digestive system. When you are under stress, your liver releases more blood sugar into the bloodstream. Under normal circumstances, this accounts for the energy needed to commit to the fight or flight response. However, if you are stressed for a long time, increased blood sugar levels can be overwhelming for your body and can lead to Type-2 diabetes.
Also, stress tends to impact the food as it moves within your body. This can manifest in many ways, such as constipation, diarrhea, vomiting, nausea, and stomach aches. The increase in breathing and heart rate can also impact your digestive system.
While stress does not directly cause ulcers, it has been noted to be one of the factors which may increase your risk of having stomach ulcers. Stress can increase your stomach acid levels and is known to increase acid reflux and heartburn.
Immune System
Stress is only a positive thing for your body if it’s for a short period. It can enhance your immunity, leading to quicker healing from infections and wounds. However, large amounts of stress for prolonged periods can weaken your immune system and make you susceptible to even the most basic pathogens. If you feel you catch the common cold or other forms of flu more often than before, reflect on how much stress your body is experiencing.
It is important to know what stress can do to your body, but it is also critical to work through your stress triggers so you can not only recognize when you are stressed and also learn ways to relax. In this fast-paced world, we’re collectively experiencing increased stress levels, even though we consider it to be a normal part of living in modern industrial society.
However, the stress that an average person in North America has is by no means normal. While stress is part of what makes us human and has allowed us to survive and evolve on Earth, humans are not designed to sustain stress over a long period. Suffering from chronic stress can take an incredible toll on your body and can significantly impact your quality of life. According to the American Heart Association more women are suffering heart attacks today related to stress.
While our current stress levels might be reaching an all-time high, we also have access to more resources than ever before. Use them to your advantage. From YouTube ASMR to meditation videos, there are all kinds of stress relievers you can access within a few taps. Or you can use more traditional means and spend more time with friends or use meditation to help you relax and unplug. Regardless how you accomplish it, it is vital to learn ways that you can slowly unwind and let the stress out of your body. Keeping it in will only cause your body to deteriorate.
In summary, living with extreme levels of stress for long periods of time can and will have adverse effects on your physical health. Uncontrolled stress is a killer because it is almost always accompanied by high blood pressure which is known as the “silent killer.” There are different approaches to learning how to manage your stress from jogging, working out, meditating, using breathing techniques. Another highly effective tool for managing stress is to learn how to practice mindfulness. All can and will help you reduce your stress levels in relatively short form but these techniques are meant to be incorporated into your daily routine if you want them to have any lasting impact. Intermittent stress that comes and goes is not as threatening to one’s health but it is still something you need to pay attention to because living with ongoing stress may become a “habit” that you stop noticing and that’s when it becomes dangerous. It is important to take care of your body if you want to live a long, happy and healthy life and paying attention to stress levels and your responses to them is a great way to start.
Contact your local health care or mental health institute if you or a loved one is suffering from from chronic stress.
This blog is not intended to provide medical advice.
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#chooseyourself
#loveyourself
Why Practicing Assertiveness Matters

Why Practicing Assertiveness Matters

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Blog

Why is it important to practice assertiveness
Assertiveness is a different kind of communication skill
Yes, assertiveness is a distinct type of communication skill that is often contrasted with passivity and aggression. Being assertive involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, direct, and respectful way, while also being mindful of the needs and feelings of others.
Assertive communication is characterized by being confident, respectful, and direct, and involves stating your needs and preferences, setting boundaries, and expressing disagreement or dissatisfaction in a constructive way. It also involves active listening, empathy, and understanding the perspectives of others.
In contrast, passive communication involves avoiding conflict or expressing your needs and feelings, often resulting in bottling up emotions and being taken advantage of. Aggressive communication, on the other hand, involves expressing your needs and wants in a forceful or hostile manner, often at the expense of others’ needs and feelings.
Thus, assertiveness is an important communication skill that can help you build healthier relationships, set clear boundaries, and achieve your goals effectively while respecting the needs and feelings of others.
Assertiveness is the ability to express oneself confidently and directly while respecting the rights and opinions of others. Practicing assertiveness is important for several reasons:
  1. Improved communication: When you are assertive, you are more likely to communicate your needs and wants clearly and effectively, which can lead to better communication and fewer misunderstandings.
  2. Enhanced self-esteem: Assertiveness helps to build self-esteem and confidence. When you stand up for yourself and express your needs and opinions in a respectful manner, you show that you value yourself and your ideas.
  3. Healthy relationships: Assertiveness is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. When you are assertive, you communicate your boundaries and expectations clearly, which can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.
  4. Stress reduction: When you are assertive, you are less likely to feel powerless or victimized, which can reduce stress and increase feelings of control.
  5. Improved decision-making: Assertiveness can help you make better decisions because you express your opinions and ideas without fear of judgment or rejection.
Overall, practicing assertiveness is essential for personal growth and development, healthy relationships, and effective communication. It can help you to be more confident, improve your communication skills, and reduce stress.
What are the benefits of practicing assertiveness in a relationship
Practicing assertiveness in a relationship can have several benefits, including:
  1. Improved communication: Assertiveness involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully. When you communicate assertively with your partner, you are more likely to be understood, and your partner will be better able to respond to your needs.
  2. Increased respect: Assertiveness requires self-respect and confidence in your own values and beliefs. When you communicate assertively with your partner, you demonstrate that you value yourself and your needs, which can lead to increased respect from your partner.
  3. Better conflict resolution: Assertiveness helps you express your needs and concerns in a way that is respectful but also firm. This can lead to better conflict resolution in your relationship, as both you and your partner are able to express your needs and work towards a mutually satisfactory solution.
  4. Greater intimacy: When you communicate assertively with your partner, you express feelings and needs in a manner that fosters greater emotional intimacy that can lead to deeper connections with your partner and a more fulfilling relationship.
  5. Reduced stress: When you practice assertiveness, you communicate your needs and concerns in a clear and direct way, which can reduce stress and anxiety in your relationship. This can lead to a more positive and supportive relationship overall.
What happens when you are NOT assertive?
When you are not assertive, you may struggle to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively. You may find it difficult to stand up for yourself, express your opinions, or say “no” to others. This can lead to a range of negative consequences, including:
  1. Resentment and frustration: If you continually suppress your needs and feelings, you may start to feel resentful towards others or frustrated with yourself.
  2. Missed opportunities: By not speaking up and expressing your ideas or desires, you may miss out on opportunities that could benefit you.
  3. Being taken advantage of: People who are not assertive are often perceived as easy targets for others who may try to take advantage of them.
  4. Lowered self-esteem: When you don’t stand up for yourself, it can lead to feelings of powerlessness and a sense of low self-worth.
  5. Increased stress and anxiety: If you are constantly avoiding confrontation or trying to please others at your own expense, it can lead to increased stress and anxiety.
Learning to be assertive can help you avoid these negative consequences and improve your overall well-being. By expressing yourself effectively and setting healthy boundaries, you can build stronger relationships, feel more confident, and achieve your goals more easily.
Examples of assertive communication in the workplace:
  1. Expressing your needs: “I need more information about the project deadline to complete my part of the task. Could you please provide me with the necessary details?”
  2. Setting boundaries: “I am not comfortable discussing personal matters during work hours. Can we talk about it later?”
  3. Saying “no”: “I appreciate the opportunity, but I am unable to take on any additional projects at this time.”
  4. Providing feedback: “I think your presentation was great, but it would be even better if you could provide some concrete examples to support your arguments.”
  5. Expressing disagreement: “I understand your point of view, but I respectfully disagree. Here are my reasons why…”
  6. Handling criticism: “I appreciate your feedback, but I disagree with your assessment. Here are some points to clarify my position.”
Remember, assertive communication is all about expressing your thoughts and feelings in a clear and respectful manner, without being passive or aggressive. It is an important skill to have in the workplace, as it can help you to establish boundaries, build healthy relationships, and achieve your goals.
When you are assertive in the workplace, you can expect several positive outcomes:
  1. Respect: When you are assertive, you demonstrate that you have confidence in yourself and your abilities which can earn you the respect of your colleagues and superiors.
  2. Improved Communication: Assertiveness can lead to more effective communication in the workplace. By clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings, you can reduce misunderstandings and conflicts.
  3. Increased Productivity: When you are assertive, you can advocate for your needs and priorities. This can help you to be more productive and achieve your goals more efficiently.
what if the person does not agree with you when you are assertive?
It’s important to remember that being assertive doesn’t always mean that the other person will agree with you. It’s possible that the person may not agree with you, but that doesn’t mean that being assertive was the wrong approach.
When you are being assertive, you are expressing your thoughts, feelings, and opinions in a clear and direct way, while also being respectful of the other person. It’s important to communicate in this way because it helps you to be honest and clear about your own needs and boundaries.
If the other person does not agree with you when you are being assertive, it’s important to listen to their perspective and try to understand where they are coming from. You can ask them to explain their thoughts or feelings in more detail, and see if there is any common ground that you can find.
If you still can’t come to an agreement, it’s okay to agree to disagree and move on. Remember that being assertive is about expressing yourself honestly and respectfully, not necessarily about getting the other person to agree with you.
Why it is especially important for women to learn assertiveness skills
It is important for women to learn assertiveness skills because historically, women have been socialized to be more accommodating and less assertive than men. This can lead to women being overlooked or undervalued in the workplace, in personal relationships, and in other areas of their lives.
Assertiveness skills can help women communicate their needs, preferences, and boundaries effectively, without being aggressive or overly accommodating. When women are assertive, they are more likely to be taken seriously and to have their opinions and ideas respected.
Additionally, assertiveness can help women to advocate for themselves and to negotiate for better outcomes in a variety of situations, from salary negotiations to resolving conflicts with coworkers or friends. It can also help women to set boundaries and to assert themselves in situations where they may feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Overall, learning assertiveness skills can empower women to take control of their lives and to be more effective communicators, which can lead to greater success, satisfaction, and fulfillment in all areas of their lives.
How practicing assertiveness helps your relationships

How practicing assertiveness helps your relationships

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Blog

What exactly IS assertiveness?
 
Assertiveness is a different kind of communication skill. Most people do not learn how to practice assertive communication but learning it can be invaluable.
Assertiveness is a distinct type of communication skill that is often contrasted with passivity and aggression. Being assertive involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, direct, and respectful way, while also being mindful of the needs and feelings of others.
Assertive communication is characterized by being confident, respectful, and direct, and involves stating your needs and preferences, setting boundaries, and expressing disagreement or dissatisfaction constructively. It also involves active listening, empathy, and understanding the perspectives of others.
In contrast, passive communication involves avoiding conflict or expressing your needs and feelings, often resulting in bottling up emotions and being taken advantage of. Aggressive communication, on the other hand, involves expressing your needs and wants in a forceful or hostile manner, often at the expense of others’ needs and feelings.
Thus, assertiveness is an important communication skill that can help you build healthier relationships, set clear boundaries, and achieve your goals effectively while respecting the needs and feelings of others.
Assertiveness is the ability to express oneself confidently and directly while respecting the rights and opinions of others. Practicing assertiveness is important for several reasons:
Improved communication: When you are assertive, you are more likely to communicate your needs and wants clearly and effectively, which can lead to better communication and fewer misunderstandings.
The benefits of practicing assertiveness
Enhanced self-esteem: Assertiveness helps to build self-esteem and confidence. When you stand up for yourself and respectfully express your needs and opinions, you show that you value yourself and your ideas.
Healthier relationships: Assertiveness is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. When you are assertive, you can communicate your boundaries and expectations clearly, which can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.
Stress reduction: When you are assertive, you are less likely to feel powerless or victimized, which can reduce stress and increase feelings of control.
Improved decision-making: Assertiveness can help you make better decisions because you can express your opinions and ideas without fear of judgment or rejection.
Overall, practicing assertiveness is essential for personal growth and development, healthy relationships, and effective communication. It can help you to be more confident, improve your communication skills, and reduce stress.
Improved communication: Assertiveness involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully. When you communicate assertively with your partner, you are more likely to be understood, and your partner will be better able to respond to your needs.
Increased respect: Assertiveness requires self-respect and confidence in your values and beliefs. When you communicate assertively with your partner, you demonstrate that you value yourself and your needs, which can lead to increased respect from your partner.
Better conflict resolution: Assertiveness helps you express your needs and concerns in a way that is respectful but also firm. This can lead to better conflict resolution in your relationship, as both you and your partner can express your needs and work towards a mutually satisfactory solution.
Greater intimacy: When you communicate assertively with your partner, you can express your feelings and needs in a way that fosters greater emotional intimacy. This can lead to a deeper connection with your partner and a more fulfilling relationship.
Reduced stress: When you practice assertiveness, you can communicate your needs and concerns clearly and directly, which can reduce stress and anxiety in your relationship. This can lead to a more positive and supportive relationship overall.
What happens when you are not assertive?
When you are not assertive, you may struggle to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively. You may find it difficult to stand up for yourself, express your opinions, or say “no” to others. This can lead to a range of negative consequences, including:
Resentment and frustration: If you continually suppress your needs and feelings, you may start to feel resentful towards others or frustrated with yourself.
Missed opportunities: By not speaking up and expressing your ideas or desires, you may miss out on opportunities that could benefit you.
Being taken advantage of: People who are not assertive are often perceived as easy targets for others who may try to take advantage of them.
Lowered self-esteem: When you don’t stand up for yourself, it can lead to feelings of powerlessness and a sense of low self-worth.
Increased stress and anxiety: If you are constantly avoiding confrontation or trying to please others at your own expense, it can lead to increased stress and anxiety.
Learning to be assertive can help you avoid these negative consequences and improve your overall well-being. By expressing yourself effectively and setting healthy boundaries, you can build stronger relationships, feel more confident, and achieve your goals more easily.
Examples of assertive communication in the workplace
Expressing your needs: “I need more information about the project deadline to complete my part of the task. Could you please provide me with the necessary details?”
Setting boundaries: “I am not comfortable discussing personal matters during work hours. Can we talk about it later?”
Saying “no”: “I appreciate the opportunity, but I am unable to take on any additional projects at this time.”
Providing feedback: “I think your presentation was great, but it would be even better if you could provide some concrete examples to support your arguments.”
Expressing disagreement: “I understand your point of view, but I respectfully disagree. Here are my reasons why…”
Handling criticism: “I appreciate your feedback, but I disagree with your assessment. Here are some points to clarify my position.”
Remember, assertive communication is all about expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, without being passive or aggressive. It is an important skill to have in the workplace, as it can help you to establish boundaries, build healthy relationships, and achieve your goals.
When you are assertive in the workplace, you can expect several positive outcomes
Respect: When you are assertive, you demonstrate that you have confidence in yourself and your abilities. This, in turn, can earn you the respect of your colleagues and superiors.
Improved Communication: Assertiveness can lead to more effective communication in the workplace. By clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings, you can reduce misunderstandings and conflicts.
Increased Productivity: When you are assertive, you can advocate for your needs and priorities. This can help you to be more productive and achieve your goals more efficiently.
what if the person does not agree with you when you are assertive?
It’s important to remember that being assertive doesn’t always mean that the other person will agree with you. It’s possible that the person may not agree with you, but that doesn’t mean that being assertive was the wrong approach.
When practicing assertiveness, it’s important to remember that your needs and boundaries are just as important and valid as everyone else’s.
If the other person does not agree with you when you are being assertive, remember to listen to their perspective and try to understand where they are coming from. You can ask them to explain their thoughts or feelings in more detail and see if there is any common ground that you can find.
If you still can’t agree, it’s okay to agree to disagree and move on. Remember that being assertive is about expressing yourself honestly and respectfully, not necessarily about getting the other person to agree with you.
Why it is important for women to learn assertiveness skills
Women need to learn assertiveness skills because historically, women have been socialized to be more accommodating and less assertive than men. This can lead to women being overlooked or undervalued in the workplace, in personal relationships, and other areas of their lives.
Assertiveness skills can help women communicate their needs, preferences, and boundaries effectively, without being aggressive or overly accommodating. When women are assertive, they are more likely to be taken seriously and to have their opinions and ideas respected.
Additionally, assertiveness can help women to advocate for themselves and to negotiate for better outcomes in a variety of situations, from salary negotiations to resolving conflicts with coworkers or friends. It can also help women to set boundaries and assert themselves in situations where they may feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Overall, learning assertiveness skills can empower women to take control of their lives and to be more effective communicators, which can lead to greater success, satisfaction, and fulfillment in all areas of their lives.
People Pleasing: why it hurts you and how to stop doing it

People Pleasing: why it hurts you and how to stop doing it

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Blog

When I say that most of us women are people pleasers, the vast majority will resolutely deny it. But, in my experience it is absolutely true. Why? Because we are raised from childhood to look out for other people, take care of them and do what they ask. But the toll this takes on us is enormous.
It is so difficult for women to set boundaries
As women, we don’t think we are allowed to prioritize ourselves. We are conditioned to only prioritize others: in our families, in our social circles, and in our workplace. When we try to prioritize ourselves we fell guilty and “bad.” because of this conditioning. We may try but the guilty feelings doing so causes us will almost always weigh us down and we stop. This kind of behaviour can set up a vicious cycle of pleasing everyone, feeling angry and burned out, trying to stop doing it and feeling guilty when you do and defeated because you think you “failed” again. Rinse and repeat.
People pleasing is bad for the person who does it
This kind of behaviour will have a long term detrimental effect on a woman. She may feel like no matter what she tries to do, she is never good enough, she may feel that no matter how hard she tries, she just can’t do it all, she may feel so put upon that she becomes angry and wants to withdraw and then that starts the cycle all over again.
People pleasing is also bad for your family
When the people pleaser gets to the point where she just can’t do it anymore and starts to withdraw, that is a bad dynamic for the entire family. Why? Because the family will almost certainly not understand what is happening and why. The children may think they have done something to cause the behaviour. The husband may just get exasperated because he doesn’t understand and he just wants his wife back again. The people pleasure’s mother may get angry because she doesn’t understand what is wrong with her daughter and she just wants the daughter to pull up her socks and get on with it again! Everyone including the people pleaser is suffering, unhappy and confused.
How to address people pleasing behaviour
The first thing that needs to happen is for the people pleaser to understand why they are feeling so unhappy? They need to figure out what boundaries are being violated. This is easier said that done when it comes to people who often have very porous boundaries or none at all. At Woman Super Powers we understand this because this is a common scenario for us. We take the time to listen deeply and help you figure out through careful discussion just what is bothering you and then figure out what boundaries need to be drawn. We teach you why it is okay to set boundaries and then we teach you how to set them in a way that will not alienate the other person and how to enforce them. We walk you through the process so you don’t feel guilty for saying no to the people you love the most. We know this is hard for the vast majority of women to do but we also know that by learning how to set and enforce healthy boundaries, they ultimately set themselves free. Free from anger and resentment, Free from guilt and free from being overwhelmed all the time and demands being placed upon them to which they feel they can not say no.
Learning how to say no is difficult for people pleasers
If you grew up in a family where your mother never said no to anyone, not her husband, not her children and not her friends, then learning how to say may seem like an impossibility. Trust us, we get this. But we also know that with the right set of tools like assertiveness skills, it is much easier than one might think. Because of this, we believe that learning assertiveness skills is one of the most important skills a woman can learn. It is an essential component of every woman’s “life skill tool box”. It is one of the most important ways we teach women how to love themselves from the inside out.
In fact, we think it is so important that we think assertiveness skills should be taught in every grade school but unfortunately, that’s now how the school system works. However, we also believe that it is never too late to learn. Listening how to practice assertiveness skills is relatively easily and we teach you how to use these skills in your every day life. They are, however, like every other skill set, and must be practiced on a regular basis in order to become proficient. That is why we recommend finding a friend with whom you can practice.
Assertiveness Skills are the key to happiness
When you learn how to use assertiveness skills you will recognize a decrease in your people pleasing behaviour very quickly. You will also almost certainly recognize that when you use your assertiveness skills you feel very empowered, confident and self-assured. When I reintroduced assertiveness skills back into my life I found that it didn’t take long for me to feel more vested in myself and my future. I grabbed onto these skills and have never looked back. We are confident that learning assertiveness skills will have a similar outcome for you. Contact us today to get started!
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