Mindfulness in London Ontario

Mindfulness in London Ontario

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Blog, Mindfulness

Have you ever burst into tears or locked yourself in the bathroom because your heart felt like it was going to explode and you couldn’t control your emotions?
Anxiety is an awful thing. It feels like the curse that just keeps on giving and giving long after the gift’s supposed value has faded away. My anxiety started when I was about 15. For years, I dismissed it, thinking it was just nervousness and that I shouldn’t worry about it too much. But as time wore on, it simply became a bigger and bigger problem.
Once at work, I actually DID go and hide in the women’s washroom because I was so anxious about a presentation I was scheduled to give. I had rehearsed it over and over ad nauseam; I had it memorized and had it reviewed and critiqued by a professional. I had agonized over the PowerPoint presentation until I could do it in my sleep.
But, when the big day came, I was absolutely paralyzed with fear.
Why? Well, for one thing, I was up for a promotion, and that depended on my presentation. Additionally, my boss’s boss was there, and he was going to be evaluating me, too. He was sitting in the first row of the audience. The presentation was also a rehearsal for a larger presentation I was going to be making at an upcoming provincial conference.
As I stood trembling in the bathroom stall, sweat poured down my back. I could feel my brand new purple silk blouse being destroyed by the second. The voice in my head, the one that constantly told me that I was never good enough, was shouting in my mind so loudly it drowned out the hammering of my heart. I had an almost overwhelming urge to urinate or throw up. It was the worst panic attack I had ever experienced.
I stood there shaking for what felt like an eternity until the cold sweat started to subside.
Two weeks later, I sat in my therapist’s office recounting the story and begging him for help. He prescribed Ativan, a drug that falls in a class called benzodiazepines, which, unbeknownst to me at the time, are highly addictive. Taking Ativan certainly calmed my anxiety for a while, but I soon found myself hopelessly addicted to the drug. Even thinking about trying to stop taking it threw me into another anxiety attack. Each one felt more difficult to manage than the next, and I soon began to feel hopelessly trapped by both my anxiety and my new addiction.
I had been struggling with my BPD diagnosis since high school and had been in traditional talk therapy for years, and none of it seemed to help. I had even spent a year in a famous psychiatric hospital in the United States, which helped, but none of it offered any real and lasting, fundamental change.
I was finally referred to a group that taught me something called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT.
DBT is regarded as the gold standard treatment protocol for people with Borderline Personality Disorder because it teaches us specific skills we never acquired while growing up. These skills include things like distress tolerance, distraction techniques, mindfulness, how to be a good friend, and acceptance.
During the course of my DBT program, I learned about something called mindfulness.
I began to do my best to practice mindfulness on my own, and I began a twice-daily practice of meditation after purchasing a CD that contained timed, guided meditations. I soon discovered that practicing mindfulness really helped my anxiety symptoms, much to my surprise.
Why?
Mindfulness helps with anxiety symptoms because it keeps you in the moment.
Staying in the moment is crucial when dealing with anxiety because the stress of anxiety comes from either thinking about past events and what happened, how you could have done it better or differently, or it thrusts you into the future with a litany of “what ifs.” In both cases, through the use of mindfulness, you learn that those “what ifs” are problems that do not need to be solved at that exact moment.
I was able to learn how to tame my anxiety monster, put a harness on him, and send him back to where he belonged whenever he threatened to come nosing out of his lair. It took me about a year and a half of diligent practice each day, but it worked. I put all this mindfulness expertise into a Mindfulness in London course. In six weeks you will learn everything I used to get my anxiety under better control; Mindfulness in London will get you on your way to a better, happier, less anxious life.
I teach women how to love themselves from the inside out.
#loveyourself
# Choose yourself
#womansuperpowers
Who I Am And How I Got Here

Who I Am And How I Got Here

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Blog

Imagine this:
You are a baby who is freezing in a basket in the courtyard of an orphanage, but you have no idea where you are because you are only six months old.
You have just witnessed your biological mother being murdered by your grandfather, and your grandmother has whisked you away to safety. You have no words with which to express this horror. All you can do is wail, but no one comes to comfort you.
Star of the Sea Baby Home
Photo: Mary Ann Bokan Sagraves memorabilia 1978
 
Imagine this:
The temperature is 35°F, and you have been left naked without a blanket, clothing, or food.
Welcome to your new world, sweet baby girl!
The story goes that I was abandoned in the garden of the Star of the Sea Baby Home in Inchon, Korea, when I was approximately 6 months old. But because there was no identifying information about me, the doctors were not really sure just how old I was. I was given a birthdate in late August of 1958 and a new name. I lived at the Star of the Sea Baby Home until I was approximately 11 months old. The first few months of my existence are a mystery. I actually don’t know how I ended up at the orphanage; the story of my biological mother being murdered by my grandfather is my birth story myth, something made up so that I could try to stop feeling unwanted by my family of origin.
After five months at the orphanage, you are again whisked away and put on an airplane. All your familiar surroundings have been removed from view without any words or attempt at explanation, not that you would have understood anyway. 28 hours later, you arrive at O’Hare Airport, where there are two friendly strangers who greet you. They speak to you in a language you have never heard, and though their eyes smile, you are afraid. You wail, but this time there is the scent of a man who cradles you in his strong arms.
For me, from as early as I can remember, the world has always been a frightening place for me. I grew up with an enormous sense of anxiety knowing that my “real” mother didn’t want me; I always expected my new adoptive parents to reject me and abandon me if I didn’t behave properly or was anything less than perfect. I never understood what was wrong with me to make my biological mother abandon me in a garden. My life was filled with uncertainty and terror. Despite always being told that I was a wanted child. I never felt wanted no matter where I went. Because I looked so different from my peers at school, I was always acutely aware of my “differentness.” That sense of being different was not anything I could savor; in fact, I became highly ashamed of how different I looked from everyone else in my world, and I began to develop a deep sense of loathing for myself, something I took into my adult years.
It took years before I was able to process and come to terms with my abandonment and not shriek every time I perceived another abandonment coming from a friend or a romantic partner. Years and DBT. But I finally learned how to manage it. One of the ways I learned how to do it was by learning to practice self-love. Once I was able to really love myself, warts and all, I stopped trying to annihilate myself all the time, either physically or emotionally. It was hard work, but I am finally at peace with who I am and my origin story.
But back in the Bad Old Days, my anxiety followed me wherever I went like a toxic shadow, and even though I didn’t have many big anxiety events until about age 30, my uneasiness was always simmering on a back burner like a pot threatening to boil over at a moment’s notice.
The birth of my last child was the straw that tipped me over into mental illness, and I was soon diagnosed with a mental illness because I kept trying to commit suicide.
I spent many years working as an admin for a Facebook group devoted to others who shared my diagnosis, and as time passed, I began to informally coach members on dialectical behavior therapy skills after having taken and mastered my own DBT course. During that time, I became acutely aware that almost everyone I worked with had some sort of undiagnosed anxiety issue. I wondered, “What came first, the mental illness or the anxiety?” I myself had watched my own anxiety and illness go into remission as I practiced and internalized my DBT skills and became adept at practicing mindfulness.I began to be convinced that practicing mindfulness was the best way to decrease anxiety symptoms, and so I began teaching my “clients” what I called my anxiety-busting techniques: mindfulness, grounding, and meditation. It wasn’t long before I began to notice that many of my informal clients were having profound success with the techniques I was teaching them.
Fast forward to now, and I have completed a life coach certification course with Coach Training Alliance and opened the doors to my own life coaching business. Woman Super Powers, where I teach women how to love themselves from the inside out, drawing upon my DBT skills to accomplish my goals.
I named my business Woman Super Powers because I believe that the skills I teach my clients imbue them with superpowers, things we as women don’t learn in school. These skills give women the ability to enjoy remarkable success as they reclaim their lives and forge a new sense of happiness and contentment.
Anxiety is the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving, no matter how much you don’t want it. But believe it or not, there is GOOD news about anxiety! And when you learn how to love yourself, warts and all, your life will never be the same.
Some of the good things about anxiety:
1. You think your anxiety attack is never going to end, but it does.
2. You think your anxiety will never get any better, but it can.
3. You think there is something wrong with YOU, but there isn’t.
4. You think you are going to die of a heart attack when you are having an anxiety attack, but you won’t.
5. You think you are going to suffocate to death, but you aren’t.
Anxiety is essentially the fight-or-flight response on steroids. And although I will tell you that you can’t stop the fight-or-flight response from happening, you CAN manage it and the way you respond to it. With my modality of anxiety reduction techniques, in just 10 weeks Woman Super Powers will show you how to equip yourself with a Teflon™ coating that will shield you from the external criticism and negative self-talk during which you tell yourself that you are not smart enough, pretty enough, lovable enough, or good enough. I believe these are the biggest drivers of anxiety events.
Sign up for our exclusive 10-week course today, and let me teach you everything I know about how practicing self-love can dramatically reduce your anxiety symptoms as you learn how to manage it effectively. You won’t regret it, I promise.
Why,”Why Self-Love Matters and How To Love Yourself Deeply

Why,”Why Self-Love Matters and How To Love Yourself Deeply

by | Aug 29, 2024 | Blog, What Is Self Love

The Power of Self-Love: Why It Matters

If you asked 100 women if they love themselves, about 50% would shrug, 25% might give a tentative yes, and the other 25% would probably say no or they don’t know how. The practice of self-love is deeply connected to self-esteem, and the level of your self-esteem will influence every decision you make throughout your life.

Before we dive into why self-love is essential, let’s first ensure we understand what it truly means.

What is Self-Love?

Self-love is the ability to appreciate and nurture yourself in meaningful ways. It supports your psychological, spiritual, and physical growth. When you love yourself, you regard yourself with high esteem both internally and externally. Practicing self-love means taking care of your own needs—physical, psychological, and spiritual—ensuring that you don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

Self-love is personal and unique for everyone, as we all care for ourselves in different ways. Understanding what self-love looks like for you is an important step in improving your mental health and well-being.

What Does Self-Love Mean to You?

For starters, self-love can mean:

  • Talking to and about yourself with kindness
  • Prioritizing your needs
  • Giving yourself a break from self-judgment
  • Trusting yourself
  • Being true to yourself
  • Being gentle and kind to yourself
  • Setting healthy boundaries
  • Forgiving yourself when you fall short

Self-Care: A Vital Component of Self-Love

Self-love and self-care often go hand in hand. In our fast-paced lives, many of us push self-care down on our to-do lists. But to practice true self-care, we must return to the basics.

How Can You Begin to Practice Self-Care?

  • Listen to your body: Pay attention to its signals and needs.
  • Take breaks: Step away from work and incorporate movement or stretching.
  • Enjoy some downtime: Visit the spa if you can, or simply spend time at a park with your favorite book.
  • Disconnect: Put your phone down to reconnect with yourself or others, or engage in something creative.
  • Indulge occasionally: Eat healthily, but allow yourself the occasional treat.

The Essence of Self-Love

Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this moment. It’s about honoring your emotions and putting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being first. In my view, it’s about #chooseyourself.

How and Why to Practice Self-Love

When you practice self-love, you are more likely to make healthy choices that nurture your well-being. This might include changing your diet, making time for daily exercise, and developing healthy relationships that lift you up.

Ways to Practice Self-Love:

  • Be mindful: Understand what you think, feel, and need.
  • Focus on needs over wants: Avoid automatic behaviors that hold you back.
  • Practice self-care: Nourish your body, mind, and soul with healthy activities.
  • Create space for healthy habits: Make decisions that reflect self-care, not just obligation.

Ultimately, practicing self-love requires kindness, patience, and compassion toward yourself, just as you would for those you care about.

Reaping the Benefits of Self-Love

When you #choose yourself, you will begin to experience the transformative benefits of putting your needs first. This is not selfish, despite how it may sometimes feel. Think of it like the flight attendant’s instructions: put on your oxygen mask before helping others. By taking care of yourself, you’re better equipped to care for others.

This is especially crucial for women who tend to be people-pleasers. Without practicing self-love, burnout, depression, and stress can take their toll, affecting all areas of life.

Embracing the Journey

Learning to love yourself is a process, and like any skill, it can be challenging at first. It might feel overwhelming, but the rewards are worth it. I can promise you, you won’t regret it.

My Personal Journey with Self-Love

When I first began my journey toward self-love, it felt like I was moving a mountain. Having grown up with low self-esteem, I didn’t believe I deserved to love myself. But over time, I learned that self-love is not about ego. It’s a gentle affirmation of your right to live freely and happily.

By practicing self-love, I realized I wasn’t the hopeless person I once believed I was. I deserved love and happiness, and so do you.

Self-Care and Self-Love Go Hand-in-Hand

Once you embrace self-love, adding self-care to your daily routine will feel natural. Whether it’s spending an hour at the spa or taking a quiet nap, self-care is a vital part of nurturing yourself.

Start Your Self-Love Journey Today

You are deserving of love, respect, and care. Start by being kind to yourself today, and remember that self-love is not a destination—it’s a lifelong practice. #chooseyourself

Copyright by Woman Super Powers All Rights Reserved | 2024